spanish and italian: So THESE words are feminine and THESE words are masculine, and you ALWAYS put an adjective AFTER the noun.
french: haha i dont fuckin know man just do whatever
german: LET'S ADD A NEUTRAL NOUN HAHA
english: *shooting up in the bathroom*
gaelic: the pronounciation changes depending on the gender and what letter the word starts and ends with and hahah i dont even know good fucking luck
polish: here have all of these consonants have fun
japanese: subject article noun article verb. too bad there's three fucking alphabets lmao hope your first language isn't western
welsh: sneeze, and chances are you've got it right. idfk
chinese: here's a picture. draw it. it means something. it can be pronounced three different ways. these twenty other pictures are pronounced the same but have very different meanings. godspeed.
Arabic: so here's this one word. it actually translates to three words. also pronouns don't really exist. the gender is all in the verb. have fun!
Latin: here memorize 500 charts and then you still dont know what the fuck is happening
Sign Language: If you move this sign by a tenth of an inch, you'll be signing "penis"
Ancient Greek: Hey, there's no word order and nouns are declined. Also memorize all these participles.
A guide to UK cities for foreign people
manchester: gays. you will probably get mugged.
liverpool: like manchester, but less gay. you will definitely get mugged.
newcastle: probably quite good for canadians as exists in permafrost and has never left the 90s.
leeds: it's a lot cheaper than london
bradford: leeds but awful
nottingham: gun death capital of the uk!
derby: intense rivalry with nottingham, literally no one else in the country or world gives any f*cks about this.
hull: violently resist anyone who attempts to take you here
leicester: i'm not sure this is a real place
york: this is an illustration from the top of a christmas biscuit assortment
brighton & hove: more gays. is only a pretend city. mild to moderate chance of mugging. contains some deeply annoying hippies. basically if san francisco was british.
portsmouth: there is literally nothing here.
southampton: exactly the same as portsmouth but smells of off milk
bristol: you have a 1 in 10 chance of ending up in a bbc recording. everyone sounds like a farmer or bob marley.
cardiff: you have a 1 in 5 chance of ending up in a bbc recording, and a 1 in 3 chance of being glassed.
plymouth: post apocalyptic wind tunnel full of drunk sailors pissing on depressed hookers. do not enter.
penzance: everyone here is from london now.
london: no one from london is actually from london and even breathing is expensive.
cambridge: windy and full of equal amounts of homeless drug addicts and public schoolboys. the junkies are nicer.
oxford: same number of c***s as cambridge but easier to escape from due to all-night bus to london
edinburgh: a goth turned into a city. basically london but slightly more scottish.
glasgow: it is impossible to tell whether people are angry or happy.
aberdeen: las vegas at the point when vegas starts crying uncontrollably
belfast: do not order "an irish car bomb" OR "a black and tan" here.
wolverhampton: really, really don't.
norwich: count people's fingers. mutations walk here.
coventry: like plymouth, bombed flat in ww2. like plymouth, failed to take the hint. like plymouth: do not alight here.
wells: so tiny and filled with country bumpkins that it got used as the setting for the VILLAGE in hot fuzz. there is also a suspiciously low crime rate...
worcester: a blend between pretty tudor houses, ugly 60s buildings, forests, and sauce.
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I still meet many people who do not understand how the Daily Mail is not just...– John Walker. I see Daily Mail crap RTed and reblogged a lot. The problem is that in amongst the racism, sexism, fear-mongering, jingoistic flag-waving bollocks and attacks on anyone who doesn’t fit within their tiny-minded world view is a lot of ‘innocent fluff’ that acts as link bait. Imagine the...
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ondskefull: did anybody else notice that Mitt Romney’s logo looks like a man’s finely sculpted ass